She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he thought i was a dude.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
