ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
