I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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