so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
