that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
