Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think weed is turning my hair brown
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
