dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
