I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
