Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Quick, to the slutcave!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
