I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
