the condom got lost in my hair
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
