I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
