friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
