I just saw a hot homeless man
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize