So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
