I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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