I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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