Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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