I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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