my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize