I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
you never un-have a 4some
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
