I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
