why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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