This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
