i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
