I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
