In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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