Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
