he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
