I hate your face
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
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