Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
