babies were throwing up all over the place
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Randomize
