but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
