he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
