Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
