That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
