He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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