Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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