Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
