and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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