YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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