I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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