He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
