PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize