yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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