do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
3pm strippers are depressing
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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