OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize