i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Randomize
