East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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