Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
