i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
