Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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