you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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