At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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