I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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