fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
