Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
