her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
