I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
