Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
