it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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