does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
